I used to smoke the "devils Lettuce" everyday, this is why I stopped.
From the age of 16 to 20, I smoked Marijuana everyday (i'm currently 22). For a bit of a credibility check i'll first quickly go through my smoking routine.
I would wake up and straight away I would put on a youtube video, then I would grab my bong and smoke 3-6 bowls.
I would then go into the kitchen, make breakfast, shower, and get ready for the day.
I would then proceed to go back to my room or take my bong outside and smoke another 5-10 bowls.
Once lunch time came about I would usually cook while smoking more weed, then eat, then smoke some more weed.
Following this obviously "strenuous day" I would reward myself with some more weed.
At nighttime I would usually smoke as much as I could until my throat was raw and my head was groggy.
Then I would hit the pillow.
Thing is, my addiction was so strong it woke me up during the night. Im naturally a heavy sleeper and I dont wake up at night, but while smoking so often, marijuana would tap me on the shoulder and wisper into my ear "more, more". So I would wake up, smoke a couple bowls then go back to bed.
Then I would wake up, do all of this again, and again, and again.
Now you know I was the "real deal" when it comes to the devil's lettuce, I want to explain what this habit did to me, how I stopped, and how I feel now that I'm not a heavy user of cannabis. If you're a heavy cannabis user, hopefully by showing you what side effects this habit brought my way, we can find some common ground before we move on to the later parts of this post.
How I felt
Mental:
My mental health obviously took a toll; the distance between who I was and who I wanted to be was increasing every day, and that fact destroyed me. As the addiction got stronger, my resolve to quit got weaker. I was then not just smoking because I liked it; I was smoking to distract myself from the fact that I had a problem and I had no idea how to stop it.
My anxiety soared to new heights, and for a while, I couldn't go outside as I was too afraid to be seen in public. My fears were often irrational, but they felt so real. Since I wasn't able to go outside, encounters with my friends were near non-existent. Marijuana became my friend, my companion. If I somehow did manage to meet up with a friend, it would only be with friends who smoked also. We would both connect through our mutual friend, marijuana. A side note: when I stopped smoking every day, the majority of the friends that shared this mutual interest stopped wanting to hang out. Only after a while did I realize that was because we weren't friends at all; the only thing that brought us together was our shared interest in getting high.
Physical:
Surprisingly, for the first couple of years, I actually worked out frequently. I then got an injury that kept me from moving much for the better part of a year. During this time, my health declined rapidly. I was short of breath, and my heart rate would spike over the littlest of movements. I became lazy, and my addiction justified my laziness.
As anyone who has smoked before would know, the "munchies" are a massive part of the marijuana experience. I'd say I was worse than anyone I knew in this regard. As soon as I'd exhale, my mind would think of two things, "let's pack another bong" and "let's get some snacks." I started putting on more and more weight and didn't like the person I would see in the mirror. My skin was pale and lifeless, my belly was inflamed from terrible foods, and my eyes were sunken from having such a disruptive sleep pattern. I began to hate myself, really.
Financial:
My smoking habit, at its worst, cost me over $400 a week to support, but would usually sit around $150-$250 a week. Added up over the 4 years I smoked daily, I spent $40,000 on the low end and $55,000 on the high end. That's a house deposit :').
Spiritual:
When you smoke as much as I did, you tend to feel somewhat disconnected from the body and mind you inhabit. Not only that, you also feel disconnected from the world around you; days and weeks become a blur, and your life slowly slips through your fingers.
Everything that I once found joy in (writing, going outside, hanging out with friends, watching anime, etc.) lost its spark. I was being ripped apart from all I had connected to my identity. This led to me neglecting prayer, neglecting meditation, and neglecting honest reflection. Instead, I was grasping at fear, living everywhere but the present, and unproductively ruminating on my past mistakes.
How I stopped
As unfortunate as this might be to hear, how I stopped was a culmination of a few things. First, I was spending too much money and had to cut down in order to pay the bills, second, I moved away from where I knew people I could buy from, and third, I stopped hanging out with the people that shared the mutual "friend" marijuana.
I knew my addiction was strong, and I tried beating it on my own without creating an environment that made it hard to do in the first place. Obviously, I failed at that a plethora of times. I also knew if I didn't do something about this problem soon, I would be in for a painfully depressing life. I needed to change, and I needed to enact drastic change to do so.
The most important thing for me was removing myself from being around smokers. Now, I did still have two friends that I would see and smoke with, but I limited how often I saw them as I knew I didn't have the willpower to not smoke while in their presence. So don't worry, you don't have to cut out your childhood best friend in order to quit or minimize the frequency of your habit.
The environment you surround yourself with is a crucial and recurring part of a lot of the things I talk about, and smoking marijuana fits in this rule too. You cannot expect yourself to be able to quit when you're constantly reminded of the fact that the thing you're addicted to is right there, within your grasp.
Now, to be clear, I am no addiction expert; this whole blog post is just talking about my own experience. If possible, I would recommend you talk to someone a bit more qualified.
How I feel now
To preface, I am not completely sober. I still smoke here and there, and I drink occasionally as well. However, I now never prioritize smoking over anything else in my life and could give it up in a heartbeat if I decided to.
I can say with absolute confidence that every aspect of my life improved when I stopped smoking daily. That spark that was once lost came back, and I started to realign myself with the identity I wanted.
First, my brain started to clear, and I became aware of my surroundings again. Then my motivation started to increase, my ability to do the things I said I was going to do strengthened, and I was finally feeling proud of who I was. I still suffer from anxiety, but anxiety never keeps me from going outside anymore, that's for sure.
Hope for better days and gratitude for the days that be, this is what I was starting to experience and continue to experience as a result of minimising my cannabis usage.
Conclusion
If you're struggling with this issue, I feel for you. You are not alone, and you can overcome this. Please try to look at your environment and see what little changes you can make today that would create more and more friction between you and smoking.
If you start to separate yourself from this addiction, you will be on TheWritePath.
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